Quarterlife crisis : the unique challenges of life in your twenties by Robbins Alexandra 1976-;Wilner Abby 1976- & Wilner Abby 1976-

Author:Robbins, Alexandra, 1976-;Wilner, Abby, 1976- & Wilner, Abby, 1976-
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Adulthood, Young adults, Young adults, Adultes, Jeunes adultes, Jeunes adultes
Publisher: New York : J.P. Tarcher/Putnam
Published: 2001-10-25T16:00:00+00:00

if you're not ready. It's so much e asier to dream when you're in college. When you get out, a lot of thin gs get put ou t in front of your dre ams a nd you can't see that anymore, and when that h ap pens you lose th at light and energy that you need to achieve your dreams. And you can't "see them because ot 'do this, do that, pay the bills,"find a place, find a job, your girlfriend left you, you're in a new place, you don't have a support system here.' And I was definitely having a hard time remembering what 1 wanted to do. Within those parameters, you can fall very, very low and it's all about the moment, and you have to remember it's just the moment and not forever. And happiness is what I want to find in life—that's all I'm looking for, because if you can find that, what else really matters? But I've always had to struggle with that."

The feeling that peers are moving more quickly toward a stable adulthood while a twentysomething wallows, alone and stagnant, is a common complaint. Maura, a 1995 graduate of Johns Hopkins University (Baltimore), says that she tries to ease her doubts by comparing herself to other people, but that sort of analysis only makes her feel worse. "I get these moments when I feel like I'm completely far behind, Uke everyone else is ahead of me, like I'm not where I should be in terms of relationships, friends, jobs. It's like a continuing cycle of doubts. I'll go to a couple's place and see their beautiful sofa and a living room that looks like a Pottery Barn catalogue and feel like I'm going to be living alone in my apartment for the rest of my life," she says. "I don't know when it will end. Sometimes I wonder how long it is going to take before I don't burst into tears every time I get my student loan bill. There are certainly moments when I lose it. It's a long and painful road. When it's especially rough on me, I have those doubts."

Maura says she thinks the twenties can trigger such stinging self-criticism because recent graduates have nothing to hold onto as some unwavering measure of their self-worth. "It has a lot to do with trying to accomplish different sections of your life at once. College is like an anchor and when you graduate, that's taken away. It's scary not to

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